The Application:
Give what you want to receive
Praise is likely to have a warming and softening effect on Dan because, ornery as he is, he is still human and subject to the universal human tendency to treat people the way they treat him. If you have ever caught yourself smiling at a co-worker just because he or she smiled first, you know how this principle works.
Charities rely on reciprocity to help them raise funds
For years, for instance, the Disabled American Veterans organisation, using only a well-crafted fund-raising letter, garnered a very respectable 18% rate of response to its appeals. But when the group started enclosing a small gift in the envelope, the response rate nearly doubled to 35%.
The gift – personalised address labels – was extremely modest, but it wasn’t what prospective donors received that made the difference. It was that they had gotten anything at all.
What works in that letter works at the office, too
It’s more than an effusion of seasonal spirit, of course, that impels suppliers to shower gifts on purchasing departments at holiday time. In 1996, purchasing managers admitted to an interviewer from Inc magazine that after having accepted a gift from a supplier, they were willing to purchase products and services they would have otherwise declined. Gifts also have a startling effect on retention.
I have encouraged readers of my book to send me examples of the principles of influence at work in their own lives. One reader, an employee of the State of Oregon, sent a letter in which she offered these reasons for her commitment to her supervisor: He gives me and my son gifts for Christmas and gives me presents on my birthday.
There is no promotion for the type of job I have, and my only choice for one is to move to another department. But I find myself resisting trying to move. My boss is reaching retirement age, and I am thinking I will be able to move out after he retires.…for now, I feel obligated to stay since he has been so nice to me.
Ultimately, though, gift giving is one of the cruder applications of the rule of reciprocity. In its more sophisticated uses, it confers a genuine first-mover advantage on any manager who is trying to foster positive attitudes and productive personal relationships in the office:
Managers can elicit the desired behaviour from co-workers and employees by displaying it first
Whether it’s a sense of trust, a spirit of cooperation, or a pleasant demeanour, leaders should model the behaviour they want to see from others. The same holds true for managers faced with issues of information delivery and resource allocation.
If you lend a member of your staff to a colleague who is shorthanded and staring at a fast-approaching deadline, you will significantly increase your chances of getting help when you need it. Your odds will improve even more if you say, when your colleague thanks you for the assistance, something like, ‘Sure, glad to help. I know how important it is for me to count on your help when I need it.’
